Thursday, October 31, 2013

WinnerTakesEarth Football Edition: ALIENS VS HUMANS! WHICH TEAM COULD SAVE THE EARTH?






Gooner Daily

There has been so much buzz about the mysterious bio-hazard symbols and inscriptions seen in several locations of the world. The mysterious holograms with a bio-hazard symbols and “Winners Take Earth” harsh tags were illuminated for a couple of hours in Times Square in New York, USA, Sugerloaf Mountains in Rio de Janiero, Brazil and Hackney Marshes in London, UK.

Many have been bewildered, bemused and perplexed about this mysterious circles and conspiracy theories are popping up faster than the amount of goals Lionel Messi scores.

What is this campaign about then? Are we playing aliens? Do you think that aliens exist? Do you think that they play sports?


Franz Beckenbauer says the answer to these horrifying questions is YES!



But even if these shenanigans seem entirely fictitious, what if there are some aliens out there that are planning to invade the Earth, and the only way to defend the Earth is to engage these goddamn aliens in a football match in a winner-takes-all competition?

With this in mind, I’ve asked for the opinions for some seasoned football lovers, such as Obitwyce, and if he’s the football manager with the fate of the world in his hands, this is the team he will assemble as Earth’s last stand,


Looking at Obitwyce’s team, his attacking line looks extremely fearsome but with only Schweinsteiger providing cover to a three-man central defensive pairing with no natural fullbacks, it could be an uphill struggle to contend with the threat the aliens could pose from the wings.

Having a Falcao-Ibrahimovic-Ronaldo trio as your three-pronged attack will send chills down the spines of opposition alien defenders and behind that attacking threat lies Ozil, Rooney and Messi. My only issue with Obitwyce’s team is that they’re considerably light at the back and Schweiny will have to work his ass off.

Next up is Ayemere Oluwafemi Edosa, or @alijaxz, as he’s known on Twitter. Faced with the same ominous task of selecting Earth’s most valiant football warriors, this is what he assembled,


Unlike Obitwyce’s team that was fully focused on sheer attacking numbers, Edosa’s team had a perfect balance with outstanding personnel in defense, midfield and of course, attack. Having a rock-solid combination like Chiellini and Thiago Silva at the back is certainly scary but the Yaya Toure – Schweiny double piviot will be vital for this side.

With Ozil providing creativity, the attacking triumvirate of Ronaldo, Messi and Ibra would destroy the alien hordes with consummate ease.

Bola Ogundairo, or @Bolagunner as he’s known on Twitter, shared his thoughts as well and assembled this team,


I have some question marks about Bola’s defense because his right back isn’t disciplined and the chances of Dani Alves getting offside is more likely than the Lionel Messi scoring for Bola’s team. Flamini offers a defensive base, allowing Ozil the freedom to express himself and in Ronaldo and Robben, Bola’s wingplay is so on point.

Next up, Austin Onono, or @nwakibie as he’s known on Twitter (he actually instigated this idea) assembled his own team of Earth’s finest footballing heroes,


Austin is the first person to actually play Messi in his natural position, allowing Ibra and Falcao to do all the damage in attack. Like Bola, the Ronaldo – Robben wing play will be vital but the forwards may be starved off the balls because the attacking trio behind them all have eyes for goal, unlike the likes of Ozil that’s selfless in his play.

The defensive combo of Ramos and Silva is commendable as well.

Finally, Anayo Nwosu, or @K_Sturna as he’s known on Twitter, shared his thoughts on what he seemed was the best team to defend the Earth from an alien football invasion,


Anayo’s team had a La Liga feel to it but I don’t know if Yaya Toure would agree to sit deep while Fabregas and Iniesta do the scheming in midfield. Remember that he has become so comfortable in the attacking third so this could be an issue. As expected, he fielded Ibra, Messi and Ronaldo in attack.

Even if this talk of an alien invasion is entirely ludicrous, these football managers have assembled various team and glaring to see the they unanimously agreed to find places for Thiago Silva, Ronaldo, Messi, Ramos, Lahm and Ibrahimovic, who are among the Earth’s finest footballing talents.

My final question for my readers would be, if aliens are to attack the Earth using a football match and you as a football manager is to setup a team that would defend our dear planet, who would you select?